“Don’t get so caught up in your ‘busy’ that you forget to live. Not just live, but to live with purpose.” 

It feels like being on-the-go is my new normal. It’s crazy when my toddlers are the least hectic part of this on-the-go equation. My husband is a social butterfly. He never passes up a networking event, hometown charity gathering or opportunity to be out and about in our community. My career pulls me in a multitude of directions, not to mention having some level of a social life with the friends and family we have in a variety of zip codes. All this to say, sometimes my brain is sprinting to the next place while I’m physically in another.

It makes my heart a little heavy to even admit, but I know I’m not always present in moments that really matter. I got to thinking about the conversations that make me feel heard, loved or just really happy. Nothing makes me feel more valued than when someone is truly immersed in conversation. You know, where you walk away thinking “wow, they made me feel SO heard.” Making people feel good is apart of my call to living with purpose, and I think this is where it starts. I wanna be the girl that makes you feel so dang valued when our conversation ends that you can’t wait to pick up where we left off. So, where to even begin? Here’s a few starting points I came up with to live out that purpose and fulfill being present and giving my full focus to the moments that matter.

KEEP A CALENDAR

Prevent confusion or feeling rushed to get somewhere by putting it on the calendar as soon as you’ve committed. My husband and I utilize a shared calendar on our phones to show time that’s specifically blocked off in advance. I really prefer paper when it comes to organization, so we also have a calendar hanging in our kitchen with notes for events, birthdays, upcoming trips and more. Whatever you do, schedule time for the pre-planned stuff so you aren’t rushing. Remember: not every invite needs to be accepted. If you attended every event, ribbon cutting, birthday party, open house and so on, you’d never have a minute to yourself! Prioritize and decide which give you purpose. That makes it possible to fully give your presence when attending whatever invites you accept.

DON’T OVEREXTEND YOURSELF

This is one of my biggest hang ups. I am notoriously a “yes” girl and love making other people happy.  Know your limits and don’t continue taking on additional to-do’s. You can get in the murky territory of taking on so many tasks that you end up partially present with each. Allot yourself time to give each your undivided attention. This allows each task you take on to exceed expectations without feeling like you’re running on fumes. While helping others is what we’re called to do, you have to prioritize yourself. If you aren’t, who is?! When your “must do’s” aren’t getting done because you’re taking care of someone else’s “want to do” list, you’re overextending.

BALANCE “CAN DO” AND “WANT TO DO” 

This is really important. Of course you have stuff that has to get done, but it doesn’t require you to give up your “want to do” list. Finished with your “must do” tasks? If you have time for folding towels or going on a walk with your neighborhood bff, go for the walk. Your towels will still be there when you get home. No one looks back and thinks “wow, she always had the best folded towels.” Well, maybe they do??  My point being, foster your relationships and stop letting your ‘busy’ keep you from doing so.

DON’T GET ON YOUR PHONE! 

Nothing makes a person feel less valued than the recipient they’re chatting with scrolling through their phone while they’re talking. If an emergency comes up, totally understandable, but replying to a text that isn’t pressing is so inconsiderate. Aside from phones, eliminate distractions to the best of your ability. I try to keep my phone in my purse when getting together for a meeting or lunch with a friend to ensure they have my full attention.

COMMIT TIME TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH 

I’ve been super open with y’all about my struggles with anxiety and have found that not allotting time for myself is one of the biggest triggers. Do something for you that releases your stress and permits for you to be the only focus. I love going for a morning jog, journaling my goals/prayers, painting my nails or spending an hour (once my family goes to bed) catching up on one of my favorite shows. As a mother, a wife and a people pleaser, I really struggle with taking time for myself. It’s hard not to feel selfish. Trust me, I get it. Giving love to others doesn’t work if you aren’t also pouring that love into yourself. You’re a better person, partner, friend and parent when you prioritize your you!

Alright y’all, my apologies if this felt like a mashup of all the most random thoughts! You’re getting a tiny peek at the priorities and lists running through my scattered, busy brain. I’m honestly just grateful for this outlet and hope that, if any of you are struggling, you feel a little more heard from this. Don’t let the normalization of “busy” permit for you to detour from living, and living with purpose.

All my love,

Nic